Friday, September 30, 2005

Cul de Sac Warlords Day

Cul de Sac Warlords Day!

Your neighbor refuses to tend to his overgrown and weed-strangled lawn. You, your wife and your kids should shave your heads into Mohawks. Then you should split up all the lacrosse pads that your oldest son, who died in a drunk driving accident over the summer, used to wear. Your Mercedes is a hard-top, so you'll have to rip the roof off but keep the windows intact. With each of you wearing one element from your dead son's protective sporting gear, tear across the cul de sac in the Merc and lay waste to your neighbor's lawn and home with flamethrowers.

Only use flamethrowers. That'll be your family's thing. Your neighbor will only use shotguns and gasoline cans (he tosses the cans over approaching warlords and shoots the cans while still in the air so his enemies are bathed in a shower of fire). Your daughter is going to burn to death today on his property and you'll have to leave her behind. There'll be no turning back after that.

Happy Cul de Sac Warlords Day!