Monday, September 05, 2005

Unemployed Psychic Boyfriend To Remain Unemployed Day

Unemployed Psychic Boyfriend To Remain Unemployed Day!

Your unemployed psychic boyfriend is going to watch an Aqua Teen Hunger Force marathon instead of working on his resume.

Ask, in a calm and generous voice, "But weren't you going to try for that opening at Psychic Mart this week?"

He'll say, "I got a premonition that Bugsy Marks is gonna get the job. Decided not to bother submitting."

He'll toss a grape up in the air and catch it in his mouth. "Knew I was gonna catch that one," he'll say.

Again, very gently, say, "But might that be the outcome only because you refuse to submit your resume?"

He'll fly into a rage (without getting up): "Are you going to suggest that our fates are malleable? That my talent amounts to nothing more than suggestion and trickery?"

Say, "I just want to know how much longer I'm going to support us both on my salary."

He'll close his eyes and put his fingertips to his forehead. "Eight more months," he'll say. "Then the money will come pouring in and you'll never have to work again."

Relieved, go get dressed and head down to the restaurant. You're working a double today.

Happy Unemployed Psychic Boyfriend To Remain Unemployed Day!