Show up and tell the weird middle-aged dudes smoking cigars, “Out.”
Then proceed to smash up the shop with a baseball bat. Your real dad will try to stop you. Knock him out and throw him onto the sidewalk. Then set fire to the cigar lounge.
When your real dad wakes up say, “I’m your real son. I couldn’t establish a relationship until the cigar lounge was gone. Sorry, but I couldn’t live a life as the son of a guy who owns a cigar lounge. Just a thing for me. Anyway, mom died and she asked me on her deathbed to forgive you for running out on us. I’m doing that, but no more cigar lounge, dig?”
He’ll dig.
Happy Your Real Dad Owns A Cigar Lounge Day!
