You didn’t mean to pry. You just went looking for some ice. Then you found yourself staring at a half-dozen of the handsomest severed heads you’ve ever seen.
“That was when I was really into looks,” your date will say.
You’ll feign being hurt to hide how hurt you actually are.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” she’ll say. “I mean, there’s a lot more going on with you than just your looks. There’s so much to you. I sometimes worry I’ll never get enough.”
Ask her if she got enough of the guys in the freezer.
“More than enough,” she’ll say.
Ask her, “Did this just get serious between us?”
She’ll cross the kitchen to where you’re leaning against the freezer door and kiss you on the lips. As real as the kiss feels, you think you can hear the heads in the freezer laughing at you. They’re laughing at your saggy jawline, your pinched eyes. They’re laughing at your hairline. Heads like that have always laughed at you.
“Good luck measuring up to us,” you hear them say.
At that moment, with her kiss on your lips, you almost believe that you can.
Happy The Severed Heads In Your Date’s Freezer Are More Handsome Than You Day!