Saturday, November 05, 2005

Sheriff Wallace Will Be The Last To Say Goodbye Day

Sheriff Wallace Will Be The Last To Say Goodbye Day!

The State Line will be five miles behind you when Wallace's flashing lights start to pop in your rear view. You'll pull over with a sharp brake and a veer onto the shoulder. Wallace follows in stride, though it's certain he noted the aggression.

"Lotta boxes back there. Can you see out the back with your trunk half open like that?" Sheriff Wallace will ask.

"Saw you didn't I?" you'll say.

Sheriff Wallace will tap his fingers on the rubber frame of your rolled-down window.

"Shirley's a handful," he'll say.

"Just like her Daddy?"

Sheriff Wallace will stop tapping his fingers.

"Whyn't you step out of the car?" he'll say.

"Was I speeding officer?"

"No," he'll say. "No you wasn't." He'll take some steps from the window and turn his back to you, waiting, staring down the empty road back home. You'll get out of the car and face him.

"You knew this was coming," you'll say.

"I knew," Sheriff Wallace will say.

"You know there's no chance you're gonna turn me around," you'll say.

He'll breathe deep, almost like his chest is tight. "Yeah," he'll say. "Yeah, I know she sent you on your way a long time ago."

You and Sheriff Wallace will look off in different directions at all the fields of nothing stretching out from the highway.

"I tried to raise my daughter strong, but I ended up raising her mean," Sheriff Wallace will say. "She know you're gone."

"She might know by now," you'll say. "I left a letter on the kitchen countertop. If Wilbur didn't eat it while he was waiting for his kibble, she might know by now."

Sheriff Wallace will nod. "Then you best be getting on before she comes looking for ya," he'll say. "I'll go back and see to her."

You'll hold out your hand for Sheriff Wallace to shake. It was good having him in your life. You'll be glad he pulled you over to say goodbye. He's meaner than his daughter and based on rumors, he might just as well have pulled you over to shoot you in the face as to say goodbye to his son-in-law. But—

"I always liked you," he'll say. "I always thought my daughter finally was thinking when she got you to propose to her."

You'll let go of Sheriff Wallace's hand and climb back into your car. He'll climb back into his and turn it around to go and calm his daughter down. You'll drive north and he'll drive south.

Happy Sheriff Wallace Will Be The Last To Say Goodbye Day!