Friday, November 04, 2005

Get Poisoned Day

Get Poisoned Day!

In order to get poisoned, you have to be the kind of guy that no one is going to just gun down on the street. People who might get poisoned are rarely killed in a chance mugging gone awry. And they also don't fall down and hit their heads on stuff.

People get poisoned when every single minute that they are alive is another minute of sorrow brought down upon the heads of thousands if not millions of people who love and live only to help their children struggle to survive in a world that offers nothing but poverty and random disappearances. To get poisoned, you have to lead. And you have to lead poorly, employing only fear to keep hold of your reign. You have to attain a level of such grave ignominy that even your most trusted of minions, the only members of your inner circle that you can still trust to bring you your food, can no longer deny that you must be removed from your throne.

Act swiftly and do the world wrong. You force your henchmen to taste your food, so they must be willing to knowingly ingest the poison root, but maintain composure long enough for you to believe that the dish is untainted. You will sup from the plate, and then you will watch your former friend and confidant fall to the ground and spew a small puddle of dark foam from his mouth. You'll see your friend go where you are soon to follow, and then you'll know: You just got poisoned.

Happy Get Poisoned Day!