Promise Jesus You’re Not Gonna Climb Trees No More Day!
Jesus is very angry with you for climbing trees. That’s why he made you lose your grip and fall and break your arm in two places. Now your Dad is going to have to work two shifts for a couple of weeks to pay for your healing.
But the worst part is your Mom says that you shouldn’t assume that breaking your arm was the extent of the punishment Jesus has in mind for you.
“He’s probably so angry at you he’s just waiting for you to go out into the street so that he can run you down with a tractor-trailer. He’ll probably make the driver wonder what that noise was and pull up in reverse to see what he runned over, just so that Jesus can watch you get flattened two times,” your Mom said. “Better look both ways, ‘cause Jesus hates your guts.”
While you’re in bed today waiting for the throbbing in your arm to go away, spend the time praying to Jesus to forgive you. Promise him you’re never gonna climb no trees again if he just agrees to not murder you with some methed up trucker’s cab.
Happy Promise Jesus You’re Not Gonna Climb Trees No More Day!