Rescue A Stray Kitten, But Only If It's In Grave Danger Day!
Any do-gooder can go down to the pound and rescue a kitten from a box. But only the bravest of pet lovers can rescue a kitten from a burning building or a bank robbery. So head out on the streets until you find yourself an adorable little kitten with a gun pointed at its fuzzy little ears. If you look on the wrong side of the tracks, you'll find lots of kittens that are looking at rock bottom and are willing to do whatever it takes to stay alive just long enough to experience Heat. No matter how dangerous.
These are the kittens that await your rescue. The at-risk kittens who are ready to courier cute wittle bags of bwack tar hewoin in between their cute wittle teeth just to get a little hunk of tuna scraped onto the floor from a dwug dealer's sandwich. These kittens are rolling in and out of cars where they frolick and adorably bat at rearview mirror ornaments for ten bucks a shot. These are the kittens that are smoking rocks and shooting up day care centers just because they wanna hear somebody scream.
Rescue them, pet-lover. Not only will you be saving a kitten's life. But you'll weaken the ranks of the scumbags that are turning this city into a war zone. One cuddwy wittle baby at a time.
Happy Rescue A Stray Kitten, But Only If It's In Grave Danger Day!