Sunday, October 09, 2005

You And Your Stinky Hippy Friends Day

You And Your Stinky Hippy Friends Day!

The farmer has decided that he's going to chase you and your stinky hippy friends out of the woods today. The farmer who owns the woods is sick of you and your stinky hippy friends coming into the woods every afternoon to dance around in a circle. He hates how you all pair off to grab hold of each other's heads and look into each other's eyes while crying. And he really hates your one stinky hippy friend, Moe, because she's black.

The farmer will chase you out of the woods by shooting at you with his shotgun. He won't have intended it, but he'll hit Hogan, your slowest stinky hippy friend. Hogan will fall into the dirt with the terrifying majority of his stomach missing, it having been blown away and scattered amongst the surrounding foliage.

You'll all run back to Hogan, and the farmer will keep running toward you. You and the farmer will discover that Hogan is dead at the same time. After some shouting, the farmer will conclude that he has no choice but to kill the rest of you, which he will proceed to do. One of you will get away, but it won't be you.

The farmer will try to keep this all a secret from his wife and dispose of all of your bodies on his own. But eventually, she'll ask why he's got blood all over himself and what he was doing pulling a Birkenstock sandal off of a severed leg. When he tells her what happened, she'll pitch in with the burials. That's how it's done on the farm. Everyone pitches in.

Happy You And Your Stinky Hippy Friends Day!