Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Make Everybody Pay Day

Make Everybody Pay Day!

Vengeful? Great! Cause today's the day you make everybody pay for what they've done. Start with the street gang that killed your mother as part of their initiation. Make them pay by locking them in a house and then setting the house on fire.

After that, wait next to the car that's parked in your favorite parking space until the driver comes back out. Lock the driver in a house and set the house on fire.

Next, go to the school where your roommate is substitute teaching and tell him that you're upset with him because he finished your orange juice. Don't lock your roommate in a house and set it on fire, because aside from the juice drinking thing, he's a pretty good roommate. Instead, take your roommate out to the school's parking lot, and then lock the doors to the school and set it on fire. Your roommate loves kids and it will break his heart to watch all those kids burn to death all because he was too inconsiderate to go out and buy his own juice.

Finally, go home and get Muffins, the kitten that refuses to love you, and take her for a drive. Find a long stretch of road leading up to a sharp turn underneath an overpass, and take off yours and Muffins' seatbelts. Tell Muffins that if she refuses to love you, you're going to drive the car into the wall of the overpass and kill the both of you. Muffins might call your bluff, in which case you'll die. But if she doesn't, you'll have yourself a kitten that loves you. What's better than that?

Happy Make Everybody Pay Day!