Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Sex Change Operation Day

Sex Change Operation Day!

Today, you're going to have that sex change operation you've been saving up for. You're almost 60% certain that you're doing the right thing.

About a year ago, you were 100% for becoming a chick. Everyone with whom you discussed it said that they thought you would make such a great lady. The women said they wished they had an evil streak in them strong enough to try and talk you out of it. "Like I need to have to compete against the chick version of you. Like it's not difficult enough for me that I already have bad burns all over the back of my left thigh."

The reason you decided to become a woman was because you were doing it with a guy, Brad, who said he really loves you but he hates fags and unless you became a woman, he couldn't date you anymore because dating a guy would make him a fag like you. So the very next morning you started the trans-gender process, the process of hanging onto Brad's love.

Trouble is, Brad hasn't been returning your phone calls very often over the past three or four months. And when you two do talk, he doesn't sound all that excited about your impending womanhood. Additionally, you've become involved with a so-so attractive Russian man named Victor. You still feel like you're meant to be with Brad, and you can make yourself believe sometimes that if you showed up on Brad's doorstep as a woman he'd take you into his arms and squeeze you tight for the rest of his life. But Victor is very good to you. He's not as intense as Brad, but when you say goodbye to Victor in the morning, you don't panic that he'll leave town without telling you the way you used to panic over Brad.

Things could work out with Victor if Brad is really out of the picture. Which leads to the real dilemma. Not only is Victor not attracted to women, he hates them. "Seriously," he once said. "Sometimes I'll leave a restaurant if I feel like I'm surrounded by too many women." Then he shuddered.

So, the only chance you'll have with Brad is if you become a woman because Brad hates gays. But there's a big chance Brad won't take you back whether you become a woman or not. And if he doesn't, Victor most definitely won't take you back if you're a woman because women make him sick.

It comes down to becoming a woman and gambling on Brad, or remaining a man and taking the safe bet with Victor.

Gamble on Brad. Get the sex-change operation. You're being a pussy.

Happy Sex Change Operation Day!