Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Buddy Pictures Day

Buddy Pictures Day!

The temp agency sent over a guy named Buddy Pictures to fill in for your secretary while she's on maternity leave.

"My parents loved the Lethal Weapon movies," he'll say.

You'll nod with a tolerant smile on your face. Normally, you don't like it when temps make conversation with you, and if it happens more than twice in a day, you usually call the agency to send them over a replacement. But this Buddy Pictures kid is bringing out your giddy side.

"I hate my parents," Buddy will say.

Get up from your desk and put your hand on his shoulder. "Something you should know about me Buddy. I'm kind of a loose cannon. When a straight-laced, by-the-book kid like you gets partnered up with a nutcase like me, it seems like it could be hilarious, sure. But make no mistake, by the end of this temp assignment, your daughter will have been kidnapped."

Buddy will say, "But I don't have a daughter. I'm only twenty two and a half."

"Feeling a little too old for this assignment?" you'll say.

Buddy will look confused for a second. Then he'll burst into an obsequious laugh. "Ooooh. I get it, sure."

Say, "Fuck you temp and don't touch me again." Then take your hand off of Buddy's shoulder and pinch his forearm until he yelps. You're losing your mind, Assistant Vice President Riggs.

Happy Buddy Pictures Day!