Monday, March 28, 2005

He Belongs To Critical Mass Day

He Belongs To Critical Mass Day!

Though you've dated frequently, you've been single for almost a year now. Your friends accuse you of being too choosy and electing to remain alone out of a fear of commitment. Except in the case of Ray.

"He was in Critical Mass?" your friend Martha asked. "Jesus, how long did he wait to tell you? Men are scum."

Jonathan, your roommate, was shocked. "He wasn't what I would call funny or anything, but he at least seemed like he might be in possession of a sense of humor. Jesus, a bicycle activist."

"Yeah," you shook your head.

"Man," he said.

Your mother was the only one who was angry with you. "I used to think you were throwing them away for the littlest things. Now I know you're just hunting down the lowest of the low so you can be sure it won't work. My God what sort of sleezeball bars are you going to?"

"I didn't know Mom," you shouted.

Ray called you a few times today, offering explanations into your machine, as well as some story about how a Critical Mass demonstration made the WTO change meeting rooms at a Holiday Inn or something. You've put in the order to have your number changed, but it won't take effect for another four hours. You're spending the night at your friend Shannon's just in case Ray gets drunk and bike rides over to your house tonight. And because you don't think you can be alone right now. It was just a deception, but you every time you remember his touch, you run into the bathroom to take another scalding hot shower.

Happy He Belongs To Critical Mass Day!