The Dog House Day!
Tonight you're sleeping in the dog house because your wife is dying of a rare bone disease and she's shrieking so much that you couldn't stay in the house without sobbing, even behind the closed door of the guest room. You had to get away from the sound, so you alerted her live-in nurse that you would be taking a walk. From the liquor cabinet you grabbed a bottle of Cutty Sark and wandered the streets of your neighborhood, drinking and being sad for you poor little bride. When you finally made it home, the bottle was empty and you were so drunk that you tumbled through the gate of your backyard and landed on the grass with your arms and head inside the doghouse.
Tomorrow you're going to wake up when your neighbor, Greg, pulls his car out of his garage. Greg will see you sitting there on the lawn part way inside your dog house, but he'll just look away as if he hadn't seen a thing. Greg can't imagine what he would do if it was his wife.
Happy The Dog House Day!