Sunday, March 06, 2005

Get More Painkillers Day

Get More Painkillers Day!

You just ate your last five, which means you have about eleven hours to get your hands on five more or else you're going to spend the night curled up in the middle of your bed with every muscle in your body clenched rock-solid and your eyes ripped open wide, staring straight at a memory of your ex-wife and your daughter.

They're in Texas now, with her Dad. You went there once to beg them back but her Dad had the sheriff lock you up with a threat to prosecute if you didn't leave town. You still had Cobra back then and when you got back from Texas you underwent a long-overdue back surgery. The doctor prescribed you a month of bedrest and vicodin. The rest is the rest.

You feel pretty good right now, but the chance that you might not have those pills before bedtime is creeping along the back of your mind like a sleek little panther. In the back of your nasal passages there's just an itch. You don't have any ideas just yet for how to get a hold of those pills. Right now you're just gonna have to pretend that your daughter's coming to visit next week. Just lay still and pretend. You'll go and find more pills in a few hours, when you won't be able to think about anything else.

Happy Get More Painkillers Day!