Monday, May 19, 2003

Your Favorite Yoga Position Day!

Today, your favorite yoga position is the "Airplane Crashing Into Kittens." This is where you stretch out your arms and legs wide and lay on your belly making propellor noises with your lips. There must be several kittens roaming freely about the "Dojo" or "Yoga House." Whenever a kitten wanders near you to poke it's nose up at your chin, you have to slam your head into it trying to crush it with one butt of your skull. Kittens are quicker than you think so you'll miss a lot and your forehead will open up into a gaping concussion, which is where the inner peace can enter your head, provided it has exact change for the "Inner Peace Paytoll." This position is rarely used because it does nothing for the bowels. And ninety nine percent of the time, when you ask someone why they do yoga, they say "Because I was told it will make my bowels stop aching when I am all alone in the night."

Happy Your Favorite Yoga Position Day!