Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Do Something That Makes You Come Day!

For today, Girls Are Pretty is borrowing a page from a source outside of the Girls Are Pretty universe of inspiration and manifest destiny. Today we’re taking heed from self-help guru, Dr. Mark I. G. Brockerand, PhD. Here’s an excerpt from Mark’s best-selling self-help book, Feeling Better Because You Are Constantly Having Orgasms.

”The average human makes use of no more than 15% of its potential for having orgasms. A healthy adult female who is white can have as many as ninety nine hundred little orgasms per day, or seven really big ones. And the average adult male can have seven really big ones. But we are taught to go through life not constantly vibrating with physical ecstasy. We make excuses. I have to go to the bank. I have to make dinner for the children. I think I have a hundred and two degree fever.

These are the cop-outs. The rain-checks we write to ourselves so as to put off the pleasure we don’t believe we are entitled to. We know what we are capable of. Are we afraid of how our lives might change if we live up to our potential? Yes.

Well it’s time to pose a challenge to yourself. Every day, do something that makes you come. Whether it be intercourse with a person you find attractive, intercourse with a person you don’t find attractive, or intercourse with three people, just make sure it makes you come. And if you manage to come once today, come twice tomorrow. If you keep upping the ante, soon you’ll be having as many orgasms you as a human being are capable of having. And you will be the fully realized ecstatic person that’s been cowering inside of you all those years you wasted your time earning money and caring for your home.

Tie a string around your finger. Every time you look at that string, consider what you’re doing at that moment and ask yourself, ‘Is this gonna make me come?’ If not, STOP!”

Thanks Doc.

You heard the man folks. Get out there and have orgasms now. Because today’s Do Something That Makes You Come Day!