A Plump, Purple Dad Day!
There's a plump, purple Dad in the basement. He's purple because he's hanging from a noose tied to one of the thick water pipes stretched across the basement ceiling. He's plump because he ate lots of fattening food when he was alive. He's hanging from a noose because hanging from a noose is all he ever wanted to do for the past nine years. He had a wife and two teenage girls. As the years go by, when his daughters reveal what happened to their father, they will invariably reveal it to boys who are lying in bed next to them. They will say things like, "My mother says he was on Paxil" and "After that everything just kind of froze still for a few years."
Happy A Plump, Purple Dad Day!