Monday, May 12, 2003

Enemy Mauve Day!

Not certain if it's the paint or the walls themselves that appear to expand and release as if they are panting. Either way, it is mauve. You wouldn't be surprised if your landlord came in one day and said, "I never said you could paint in here." And you said, "I didn't." And he said, "Well I never painted the walls Mauve. I only use white paint on my units." And then you would look back to when you moved in and you would have a vague memory of the white walls enclosing your little tiny empty room. Over time, the mauve just grew from within the plaster, from whatever's inside there. Like fur or mucous, it spread evenly like a coat of paint. Now it's everywhere around you, enveloping you while you sleep.

Don't waste time. Take a sledghammer to every last inch of the room. Tear it down. Your roommates will thank you later. They're gonna be real pissed tonight, but later, they'll thank you for not letting that mauve seep into their reproductive organs and taint their future progeny.

Happy Enemy Mauve Day!