Hookers Are Wrong Day!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT ask a hooker for directions today. For today is the day that hookers are wrong. It is the one day out of the year when a hooker is only good for providing sexual favors in exchange for money. IF YOU ASK A HOOKER FOR DIRECTIONS TODAY, YOU WILL GET LOST AND YOU WILL BE LATE! IS THIS CLEAR? YOU WILL BE LATE!
The same warning also goes for asking a hooker for the time. IF YOU ASK A HOOKER FOR THE TIME HE OR SHE WILL NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TIME! AGAIN, YOU WILL BE LATE! OR EARLY!
Happy Hookers Are Wrong Day! That reads weird though. All hookers are wrong today, even the ones who are not happy.