Saturday, April 19, 2003

There's A Giant Elephant In The Room That No One Wants To Talk About Day!

If you talk about the giant elephant, you'll only encourage it. It only comes by to get attention anyway because it knows if it shows up at the dinner table, everyone's gonna be like, "HOLY FUCKING CHRIST THERE'S A GIANT MOTHERFUCKING ELEPHANT IN THE MOTHERFUCKING DINING ROOM!!! DEAR GOD!!! EVERYBODY! OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! RUN!!!" and then once you're all safely outside somebody'll run into the garage to find some lighter fluid or old kerosene and douse the house in it to set it ablaze with the elephant inside. And when you could've been eating a nice dinner, you'll end up outside in the yard starving and hoping the fumes from the fire will knock the elephant unconscious before it bursts through the wall and kills many.

To avoid all this, try to ignore the elephant. Come up with topics of conversation to distract you and your family. Just look away from the elephant and say, "Daddy, your drinking problem is tearing this family apart" or "Daddy, you have to stop hitting mommy" or "Daddy, why do you go into little Anna's room at night? It's to have sex with her isn't it. Well all us kids and mommy are leaving the house after dinner and the police are on their way." I know it's all just boring chitchat, but anything is better than talking about that stupid, annoying, "hey everybody look at me I'm an elephant and I'm in the house" cuntlicking elephant. Fucking asshole elephant.

Happy There's A Giant Elephant In The Room That No One Wants To Talk About Day!