Monday, April 28, 2003

Mysticism Day!

In honor of Mysticism Day, hold your open palm overtop of a flame until it hurts too much. Then use your in-tuned-with-the-universe-ness to fuck two chicks at the same time. You can do this either by picking up a pair of friends at a bar who like bumping into each other while having sex with the same guy, or you could slip into your less than corporeal existence and actually be in two different bedrooms (or living room couches) at once (warning: This gives you a bad headache!). Before you go to bed, cast a spell on the sky to make it rain over the heartland. You'll be doing the farmers a solid.

Happy Mysticism Day!