Friday, April 25, 2003

Be A Drug Addict Day!

Cower in the corner of an empty room in a rundown abandoned house scratching at your forearm and scream, "Just one more hit! Pleeease! I'm sick man!" Then fellate somebody who doesn't love you. If you have a baby, don't change its diapers. Ever. But offer to sell it in exchange for the drugs your addicted to. Also, kill it.

By now, everything's on fire. Don't care. Just keep laying down with a pleasant grin on your face. If you see any electronic appliances, sell them. Then fellate somebody who doesn't love you, but likes to make drug addicts like you fellate him in front of his laughing friends to show just how much power he has over drug addicts because he has drugs. When you're finished fellating him, he's going to punch you in the face, stomp on your belly, then toss a small bag of the drugs your addicted to on the floor next to you. Scrabble across the floor for the bag of drugs as if nothing else in the world matters. One day you're going to fellate someone who is high and a little out of his mind and when he beats you up afterwards, he will go too far and kill you by accident. No one will care, though, because you are a drug addict and America hates you.

Happy Be A Drug Addict Day!