Tuesday, April 29, 2003

Children Of Alcoholics Should Become Alcoholics Day!

If your father is an alcoholic, he probably doesn't have a lot of time to spend with you between his three-day benders and being unconscious. So maybe you oughta take a few steps in his direction. If you had a drinking problem like him, then tonight at 3 AM when he says, "We're out of whiskey. I think the neighbors are on vacation so let's break into their house and steal their whiskey." Without a drinking problem, you'd probably already be in bed, waiting to hear the sound of your father falling on the ground so you can finally fall asleep knowing he's safe on the kitchen floor. But with your newfangled alcohol dependency, not only will you be there by his side freaking out because you're out of whiskey, but you'll be across the street shimmying inside your neighbor's basement window before your Daddy has the chance to say, "I love you son. And I'm glad we finally get to do these father-son things together. I'm happy that you finally came around on this one."

If you're a daughter of an alcoholic, don't bother changing a thing. Whether you're drunk or not, he's still gonna fuck you.

Happy Children Of Alcoholics Should Become Alcoholics Day!