Tuesday, April 01, 2003

Don't Cruise For Dudes If You Have A Case Of The Sneezies Day!

In order to be able to tell whether a guy wants you to follow him downstairs to a bathroom stall, you need to be able to hold his eye contact long enough for there to be something obvious. You can't just catch an eye and smile and then all of a sudden convulse in a sneeze attack. It's not attractive and it makes boys wonder whether you're going to be stopping every few seconds to shoot phlegm out your mouth once you're down stairs stooped atop a toilet seat. Someone can get poked in the eye if you can't control your spasms. And lets not forget about how frightened a dude will be of catching a cold just as Spring is coming over the hill.

And forget about the Parks. When you get the sniffles you are the exact opposite of discretion. Just stay home until your sinuses clear up and send out some Instant Gratifiers to the personal ads on your hot list. You'll have anonymous sex with somebody tomorrow or the next day. Promise.

Happy Don't Cruise For Dudes If You Have A Case Of The Sneezies Day!