Saturday, April 26, 2003

Turn A Hose On The People Who Are Protesting You Day!

If you're trying to sleep in but the protesters are out on your lawn chanting, "Up and At 'Em! Rise and Shine! You're a terrible person! Hey!" Let them know that they can't push you around and turn a hose on them. If you don't have access to a fire hose, just use the garden hose. It won't force them to disperse, but if it's chilly out they might catch cold and every time they sneeze, they'll know it's because they thought they could mess with you, and they were wrong.

If they come back later in the evening while you're trying to eat dinner, and they start chanting, "Stop Eating! You're a pile of shit! Hey!" apparently the hose wasn't enough to scare them away. So go get your rifle and shoot into the thickest part of the crowd. Just a few rounds.

Happy Turn A Hose On The People Who Are Protesting You Day!