Sunday, March 23, 2003

Worst Ever Day!

Today can actually end up being the most wonderful day of your life, but there has to be one isolated aspect that is of the absolute poorest quality you've ever experienced. It can be anything from a cheese sandwich to a dog. It just has to make you say, "That was the worst cheese sandwich ever!" or "That was the worst dog ever!" Or, if it's sex with five attractive people and you've never had sex with five attractive people before, no matter how fantastic it is, you can still say, "That was the worst sex with five attractive people ever!" because hey, have you had better?

I am not quite certain that you understand the concept of today, so I will give eight more examples. They are below:

If you die in such a way that makes you think you have never died so shitty, you'll say "That was the worst way I ever died" and you will have fulfilled the requirement for today. Or, drive to the supermarket and park in a parking space that, in every way (distance from entrance, ability to open doors due to proximity of neighboring cars, odor) is simply the worst parking space you've ever parked in, and say, "This was the worst parking space ever!" And you can also add, "Bar none!" if you're a cunt. The remaining six examples are snack foods. If you have a cheeto that is the worst cheeto you've ever had you will say "That was the worst cheeto ever!" If you have a frito that is the worst frito you've ever had you will say "That was the worst frito ever!" If you have a tostito that is the worst tostito you've ever had you will say "That was the worst tostito ever!" If you have a piece of angry angry pussy that is the worst piece of angry angry pussy you've ever had you will say "That was the worst piece of angry angry pussy ever!" If you have a barbecue flavored frito that is the worst barbecue flavored frito you've ever had you will say "That was the worst barbecue flavored frito ever!" And finally, If you have a piece of barbecue flavored angry angry pussy that is the worst piece of barbecue flavored angry angry pussy you've ever had you will say "That was the worst piece of barbecue flavored angry angry pussy ever!"

Happy Worst Ever Day!