Wednesday, March 19, 2003

Another Elderly Person In Your Life Day!

You've already got two parents in their late-sixties, early seventies, and there's also that friend of your Dad's who must be able to see the color of 80's eyes from here. Your boss is 61 years NOT-young, and that may be just a kiss below elderly, but it's a kiss with tongue if you ever met the geezer. Then there's that gruff but decrepit son of a bitch who sells you your cigarettes at the ripe old age of shoulda'-died-last-year, but even though he always talks about "the blacks" you still feel like you'll miss him when he kicks it.

On the periphery, there's the witchy-looking shut-in with whom you sit for an hour every Thanksgiving, but she could have passed already. There's Mickey, the owner of Mickey's, but you rarely see him since he's got his daughter tending bar ever since her divorce. Um, landlord, crossing guard, notary public (you actually see her way too often lately), and a car service driver you seem to always end up with.

That's a lot of elderly people for one person to be acquainted with. And now, to top it all off, you've fallen head-over-heels into the most-erotically charged relationship of your life with a 37-year-old ad executive who's got two doting (ie. visiting!) parents, both deep into 77. I just hope it's worth it. By my count, that makes thirteen elderly people that you know, some of whom you care for. Thirteen. You thought this through?

Happy Another Elderly Person In Your Life Day!