Wednesday, March 05, 2003

Broke Heart Big Sister Day!

Do you have a big sister? Does your big sister have a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a best friend, a husband, or faith in something elusive that keeps her going? She does?

Well, guess what.

Don't try to comfort her, she understands now that there's no comfort to be had in this life. And she's not going to buy it, especially from you because you're younger than her. If you wanna just make sure she's not dead or give her a reason to perk up with a little raging adrenaline to the head, knock on her door and ask, "You okay Sis?" just so she can throw herself up from the bed and throw a boot at the door.

But comfort? The only comfort she'd swallow at this point would be, "Hey, at least you made it to [your big sister's age] stupid enough to believe in [love, Christ, man's innate desire to be good]. A lot of people barely make it to [younger than your big sister's age] before they get mouth-raped by Truth. Now why don't you get out there and compromise?"

Your big sister won't disagree with you. But she will point out a physical flaw of yours to make you feel bad about yourself. Even though she is now capable of looking at the petals of a flower and see nothing but disease, she's still your big sister and she needs you to know that you are fat and that you have pimples.

Happy Broke Heart Big Sister Day!