The American Flag Day!
Normally, when a building hangs an American flag outside, it's saying to everyone who walks into the building, "This building takes place in America." But for today only, if a building has the American flag waving out front of it, it means, "Here inside this building, someone just farted." This is all day long, everytime you see a building with an American flag raised, you are to take it to mean, "That building stinks of farts. I bet everyone inside is giggling and going, 'Oh man, who farted?'"
Additionally, if terrorists attack us or something today, everyone will lower their American flags to half-mast because normally that would mean, "This building is sad." But if you see a building with an American flag at half-mast today, the building is saying "The best part about pussy is how warm it is inside it!" Even post offices.
Happy The American Flag Day!