Sunday, March 30, 2003

Steamroll Babies Day!

Remember when you and your little brother were kids how much fun it would be to play steamroller with him? Where you'd catch him on the floor playing with blocks or in his bed or somewhere else and you'd wail on him and roll all your weight overtop him screaming "STEAMROLLER!!!" and then he'd cry and you'd jump up in the air and go "Steamrolled!"

Do that to the baby next door. He's still sleeping in his parents' bed because they're first time parents and they're nervous about letting him alone in his crib yet. So tonight, after you've tucked in all of your kids, get the ladder out of the garage and climb up into the neighbors' bedroom window. Make sure you wait until after 1 am because that baby keeps em up pretty late. When you're through the window, tiptoe as close as you can to where you can get a good leaping distance, then just hurl yourself into the middle of the bed screaming "STEAMROLLER!!!" then roll yourself back and forth overtop the baby in between his pajama clad mommy and daddy. Then when you've gotten three or four good rolls in, jump back off the bed. When his parents start screaming about how you tried to kill their kid, just stick your finger in the baby's face and scream "Eat it!"

Happy Steamroll Babies Day!