Friday, March 24, 2006

Pickpocket In The Planetarium Day!

The signs all over the planetarium warn you not to just look up the whole time. "That's just what he wants you to do," the sign says. "Despite our best efforts, we just can't seem to catch the Planetarium Pickpocket (It's really dark in here). Watch your wallets."

Today while staring up at the rings of Saturn, you're going to feel some scuffle along your backside, where your wallet is hanging out of your jeans. You'll check and your wallet will be gone, replaced by a slip of paper that reads, "Out back. Ten minutes."

You'll sneak off from your class and run out to the alley behind the planetarium. There you'll see the pickpocket, a boy with shaggy brown hair dressed in denim from head to toe, except for the tight white tee shirt underneath his denim jacket.

"Are you gay?" you'll ask.

"No!" he'll shout.

"Sorry," you'll say. "All that denim. So you're the pickpocket. Sounds pretty exciting."

"It can be," he'll say. "I guess you want your wallet back."

"What do I have to do to get it?" you'll ask.

He'll say, "All you gotta do is be my girl."

You and the pickpocket will make out up against the back wall of the planetarium and you'll let him feel your breasts through your coat. He'll go on pickpocketing in the dark and you'll meet him there after school behind the planetarium to kiss and be his girl until you go to college or he gets arrested and tried as an adult, whichever comes first. Teenage years are lonely.

Happy Pickpocket In The Planetarium Day!