Today your boyfriend is going to show you a treasure map that he made. It's basically a line drawing of a pair of jeans that you own. There's a big "X" at the crotch, which according to him indicates that there's some treasure there.
"What are these?" you'll ask, pointing to little circles surrounding the pants.
"Piranhas," he'll say. Then he'll introduce you to his crew of bloodthirsty pirates.
"So you have a boat and everything?" you'll ask.
"Got a truck," he'll say. He'll point his thumb out the window at a dirty white pickup truck. You'll point to your jeans, the ones depicted in the map, which will be slung over a chair in the corner of your room.
He'll give you a fierce look and you'll realize he doesn't want you to let on to his crew that the map might be wrong. You'll beg him not to leave because it's only a matter of time before his crew discovers that the captain has gone mad and is leading them on a fool's quest.
"They'll mutiny," you'll pant in his ear. But you'll know all along that you can't hold onto him. He's a pirate, and no matter what you say or do, nothing will keep him from walking out that door and climbing into the back of that pickup truck (he doesn't drive).
Happy Map Of Your Pants Day!