Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Roll The Dice Day!

Today, when you're at the craps tables and you're deeper in the hole than you ever thought you could be, a rich man will approach you and your husband with a proposition.

"One roll of the dice," he'll say. "If you roll a seven, my henchmen kill your husband with rocks. If you roll any other number, I give you one million dollars."

You and your husband will look at each other, then you'll both say, "Deal."

The rich man will lead you to a dark alley and he'll hand you some dice. You'll roll a four, and then you and your husband will jump up and down in each other's arms. When you look to the rich man for payment, he'll say, "Double or nothing?"

Say, "You mean if I roll anything but a seven, I win two million. But if I roll the seven, we're even and me and my husband walk away empty-handed?"

The rich man will say, "No. If you roll the seven, I get to kill your husband. If not, you get two million."

Say, "Deal!" and roll the dice before your husband objects. You'll roll a four again and you'll jump up and down. But your husband won't join you.

The rich man will say, "Try for four million?"

Say, "Deal!" You'll roll and win. Roll and win. Roll and win over and over again, doubling your money up to 32 million before you roll a seven and your husband is killed. As they drag him off to pound in his skull with rocks, you'll hear him shout, "You have a very bad gambling problem! It's very bad!" Then you'll hear him shout some other things that are too horrible to describe.

Your husband is right. Get to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting. You sure will have a hell of a story to tell them when you hit 30 days.

Happy Roll The Dice Day!