Today when you finally get up the nerve to ask Jenny to the dance, you'll only get as far as, "Um, Jenny I was wondering if you'd�" before you get shot by a drug dealer's stray bullet. Jenny will kneel beside you and hold your head in her hands and scream for help. She'll ride in the back of the ambulance with you.
In the back of the ambulance, with your breath short and blood all over your stomach, tell her that you've had a crush on her for the longest time and that all you ever wanted was to take her to the dance, and now you're so angry because you might die before you ever get to dance with her. Jenny will tell you to hang in there because she's really counting on you to take her to that dance. She wants nothing more in the world than for you to take her to the dance, she'll say. That's when you should ask her if you can have a kiss in case you don't make it. She'll say that it won't be necessary since you are going to make it. Cough a little and bring your heart rate down so that the heart monitor's beeping changes in pattern (not sure how to do this). Jenny will panic and she'll plant one on you and you'll have just kissed Jenny, the girl you're gonna go to the dance with.
When you wake up in the hospital, your mother will be by your bedside, but Jenny won't be anywhere to be found. Your mother will tell you that Jenny seemed like a nice girl. She'll also relay the message from Jenny that everything that happened in the back of the ambulance happened because you were in the back of an ambulance, and that it doesn't count. Your mother will also tell you that Jenny said she is going to the dance with Greg Kelly, a varsity forward on the Lacrosse team. Greg will come by later and he'll tell you that you're lucky you got shot because if you had kissed his girl when you were healthy he would have beat your ass. Out of respect for you having gotten shot by a drug dealer's stray bullet, he'll just give you an Indian burn.
Happy In The Back Of The Ambulance Day!