Today on the bus a little girl is going to poke you on your knee and make put down your newspaper.
Say to her, "What would you like to know, young lady?"
The girl will ask, "What makes marshmallows so soft?"
You'll look around at the other adults on the bus, but they'll all just shrug. They're never any help with anything. You don't want to give her the wrong answer and look stupid. So just say, "You mean you don't know? Duh!"
The girl will say, "I know. But I don't think you do."
It's make or break time. Take a guess. "Crushed kitten whiskers. Ripped from kittens who are too happy and playful and cute."
The girl will start to cry, and you'll realize you were supposed to guess something like "love" or "Dads who don't leave." Everyone on the bus will be pissed at you for having made the girl cry, so you're going to have to get off at the next stop and walk the rest of the way to work just like yesterday (you farted and everyone laughed and it was too much to take).
Happy What Makes Marshmallows So Soft Day!