Just Because He Wants To Shit On Your Face It Doesn't Mean That He Loves You Day!
The market for books on relationship advice has ballooned into the stratosphere, and YOU WANT IN! You've been thinking up titles for a book that women will grab off the shelves faster than it can be printed. Some of the titles that you've concluded don't quite have that spark:
HE HATES YOUR CAT AND YOUR FRIENDS
HE PUNCHES YOU IN THE STOMACH
YOU LOVE HIM, BUT IF HE SAYS HE'S IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE, KILL THEM BOTH
HE'S A JEW. IS THAT A DEALBREAKER?
HE'S REALLY INTO YOU, BUT YOU HATE YOURSELF SO MUCH
HE CAN DRINK MORE THAN ANYONE YOU'VE EVER MET BEFORE, INCLUDING YOUR DAD!
HE'S MENTALLY RETARDED. YOU'RE NOT.
WHERE'S ALL YOUR STUFF?
They're all just a little too "niche," aren't they. But after banging your head against the wall for at least 45 minutes, you think you've finally nailed that one title that will make young, urban, professional women go, "Finally, someone gets it!" Behold:
JUST BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SHIT ON YOUR FACE, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT HE LOVES YOU
Can you say, "Oh, hello "New York Times" Best Seller List. I've heard a lot about you. It's time we got to know each other since we'll certainly be spending a lot of time together over the next 114 weeks."
It's time to get writing. Just go through all of the different scenarios in which a young, urban, professional woman can't see what her guy really feels for her because she's blinded by all the shit all over her face. Some suggested chapters:
He Might Not Remember Eating Corn, But He'd Better Remember Your Anniversary
Feel Like A Toilet?
When He Mentions, "Dropping The Kids Off At The Pool," Ask Him If He Wants To Have Children With You.
Why Won't He Kiss You Afterwards?
Say hi to Oprah for me.
Happy Just Because He Wants To Shit On Your Face It Doesn't Mean That He Loves You Day!