Death March Day!
You and your buddies were on vacation in a small Southeast Asian country that was recently shaken up by a coup. You tried to get out, but the prostitutes you'd solicited the night prior slowed you down. Soldiers raided all of the hotels and quickly rounded you up into camps. Your photos have been pasted all over the American newspapers, but as far as you know, America isn't coming.
Today you and your buddies are going to be taken on a death march. A death march is exactly what it sounds like. You're going to march until you're dead. When you fall, they'll prop you back up and try to make you keep marching. When it's clear you can't march anymore, they'll leave you there to die.
"At least we're gonna be able to go out together," you'll say to one of your buddies this morning before sunrise.
"That's true. I always loved you guys," one of your buddies will respond.
Your other buddy will say, "You wanna just roll over and die for them? Fuck that. We're busting out of here. Before they come for us. Let's do it now!"
You and your other buddy will say, "Yeah!"
A soldier will walk in and say, "Time for the death march guys."
You and all your buddies will say, "Fuck!"
The soldier will say, "Sorry. I know it sucks. But y'know."
The buddy who came up with the idea of escaping will say, "They're just too good."
You'll tell your buddies you always wanted to touch them. On the march, they'll ridicule you until they start to die.
Happy Death March Day!