Sunday, May 15, 2005

Your Foreign Exchange Student Girlfriend Day

Your Foreign Exchange Student Girlfriend Day!

She goes back to Denmark in a week so you're going to have to propose to her. You never thought you'd go into your senior year of high school a married man, but a girl like Katrine will make boys like you do what you never thought you'd do.

Katrine will protest. "I still have a boyfriend in Denmark," she'll say.

Be firm. "Break it off with him."

She'll say she's not sure whether she's ready to let him go. "His hair is blonde like mine. We look appropriate together."

"Katrine," say. "You're not like the other girls in my high school. You allowed me to touch you."

Katrine will smile. "And you're not like the boys back in Denmark."

You'll wait for her to explain how, but she'll only smile.

Ask her, "What's the difference between me and the boys back in Denmark? Besides the hair color I mean."

She'll say, "No, that's it. They have blonde hair. You don't."

You'll be starting to worry now. You didn't think this could end any other way but for the two of you to kiss and run to the internet to find out which states allow seventeen year old boys to marry seventeen year old girls with student visas, then you'd hop in a car and drive until you were both wearing wedding rings.

Say, "Is there anything I can say to keep you here with me?"

Katrine will take your hand in both of hers. "Let me go. Let me live on forever after as your foreign exchange student girlfriend. And you'll live on forever as my American boyfriend. If we marry, you'll just be a husband and I'll just be a wife."

You won't be able to argue with her, it will sound so beautiful in her accented English. Her words will glow with the promise of a wonderful future for each of you. A future full of many different lovers and marriage and children and wonderful, wonderful memories. Unfortunately though, Katrine will prove to be the last girlfriend you'll ever have, the last woman you'll ever be intimate with, in fact. You'll just never hit it off with anyone else again. It was right with her and there will not be another. Sometimes it works out that way. This is one of those times.

Happy Your Foreign Exchange Student Girlfriend Day!