Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Mentholated Man Day

Mentholated Man Day!

Sometime after your 68th birthday you started to smell like a medicated lozenge. In the 19 years hence, the strength of the odor has grown to the point that when you enter a room you seem to involuntary "fog" the air with a harsh decongestant. It's why the paperboy left you that envelope with the note attached.

When your granddaughter comes by next week, she'll read it to you and explain that the paperboy will no longer go door to door collecting his biweekly fees, but instead you will be required to mail him a check in the pre-addressed envelope. Your granddaughter will think nothing of it, though she'll wonder if the paperboy's visits were important to you. However, were you ever to speak with your neighbors you'd learn that they got no such letter. You are the only one on the route now required to mail in your subscription fee. This is because whenever the paperboy entered your home his eyes would be made to sting so badly he'd still be tearing up at school the next day. He complained of difficulty during quizzes. The envelope was his parents' idea.

He's just trying to be a good student.

Happy Mentholated Man Day!