Saturday, May 28, 2005

Sell Yourself To A Businessman Day

Sell Yourself To A Businessman Day!

Today you are going to turn over control of yourself to a wealthy businessman, the sort of man who is overweight and wears suits.

Start the negotiations with some aggression. Say, "Check this. How much do you think it would take for you to bring this home and call it "my baby."

The businessman will lowball you. Call him on it.

Say, "You cocksmoking Godhole. I'll kill you with this razor." Then pull out your straight razor.

The businessman will say, "You know your way around the table. I like that. I'll throw in 7 million more and the promise to adopt a Southeast Asian baby by 2009."

Remember, this is a "Negotiation."

Say, "2008 and a half."

The businessman will curl his mouth up at the corner, then he'll break out in a smile.

"Deal," he'll say. "Now get in the trunk."

Get in the trunk.

Happy Sell Yourself To A Businessman Day!