One Of Your Neighbors Discovered Your System Of Underground Tunnels Day!
Luckily, he slipped on an unstable slope and hit his head, leaving him unconscious there to be found by you later tonight. It's Dave Jorgensen, the guy who walks his poodle in his bathrobe in the morning. You never thought he'd be the kind of guy who might fiddle with the basement wall behind his water heater, but apparently old Dave got curious and started his way down your dark maze. He made it as far as just underneath the Blumenfelds when he slipped on a muddy patch and cracked his head on the sharp poke of brick down there.
He's not dead, but he's got a concussion. And he'll still be unconscious when you find him. And that's when you'll find out what you're made of. A true Lord of the Beneath would do the honorable thing and pummel Mr. Jorgensen's head until it has the consistency of the mud that was his demise, then bury him in the 3X7' intersection of tunnels between the Holts' and the Baughans' lots. This would be the act of a man who built a sub-suburban land with the intent of creating a kingdom.
And then there's the coward. The man who has never seen the whites of another man's eyes. The frightened rodent who dug into the dirt of his own home so as to find a place to hide from his sunlit fears. He would simply bury Mr. Jorgensen in his unconscious state, with the faith that a lack of air would take his life as surely as three certain hits to bone. But if you choose this cowardly path, poetry would dictate that in days' or weeks' time you'll be on the street trying to conduct yourself as if you were one of the men who wave to you from their passing cars when Mr. Jorgensen claws his way through the loose soil of the rosebushes lain across the Holts' and the Baughans' dividing line. Whether he is truly undead or simply crazed from his time spent in a wet grave, you won't have the chance to determine before he sinks his teeth into the meat of your spine.
Take no chances. Demonstrate your rule.
Happy One Of Your Neighbors Discovered Your System Of Underground Tunnels Day!
