Tuesday, July 23, 2013

You Had Each Other’s Husbands’ Kids Day!

You slept with Richard, your next-door-neighbor Kelly’s husband, when you helped him carry his cooler home from one of your summer cookouts. Kelly saw the two of you go off together and she could sense something was up, so she asked your husband, Nat, to give her a tour of your remodeled second floor. Kelly, Nat, you, and Richard were all having sex at almost the exact same moment with a pink summer sunset pouring in through your respective bedroom windows.

Nine months later, just days apart from each other, you and Kelly both gave birth to baby boys.

No one’s spoken of it. No one’s admitted even to the possibility. Neither of your marriages were sexless so there’s still a very good chance that you had your husband’s child, and Kelly had hers. But your son, Hank, is starting to develop Richard’s round pug nose. Kelly’s son, Oliver’s blonde hair is starting to turn Nat’s shade of red.

It’s not certain, but you know. So does Kelly. It’s time your husbands did too.

Tonight you’re out on your lawns at dusk, you and Nat in lawn chairs, Kelly and Richard on their porch swing. Hank and Oliver play together on your shared lawn. All four of you watch them play, watch them argue like siblings.

The ball bounces up onto Kelly’s and Richard’s porch. Oliver shouts, “Daddy, throw it here.”

Kelly says, “Throw it to Hank.”

Richard looks at Kelly, then at Hank, then at Kelly.

Kelly, again, “Throw it to Hank.”

Richard drops the ball, walks across the lawn and pulls Hank into a hug.

Nat looks to you. You nod, a confirmation, as sure as a paternity test.

Nat bursts into tears, crosses the lawn, takes Oliver by the shoulders. When he finds himself in the boy’s eyes, he embraces him.

As your husbands kneel in the grass holding their sons for the very first time, you and Kelly raise your glasses to each other in a toast from across the property line. Thanks to one hot July night a few years prior, this neighborhood is finally a family.

Happy You Had Each Other’s Husbands’ Kids Day!