Thursday, July 18, 2013

Party ‘Til You Die Day!

The news just announced that several hundred asteroid, all of them the size of Texas are going to hit the earth and wipe out all human life.

“Oh God what should we do?” one of your buddies asks.

“Nothing else to do,” you respond. “We party ‘til we die! Woooooo!”

You all crack open beers. Before your beer cans touch your mouths the asteroids hit and you are instantly obliterated. Way to go out partying though.

Not to draw attention away from your party-to-the-end badass-ness, but it’s really shocking how quickly the human endeavor is brought to an end. It’s like humanity was something that was drawn on an Etch-a-Sketch, and some little kid came along and shook it. Never existed. Clean slate. Poof. Why did we bother with any of it? Religion. Rome. British imperialism. The Friday the 13th series of films. Six Flags theme parks. Lunchables. Every monument to human toil, lost to time with a quick shake. What were we so excited about all these years?

Anyway, fun party.

Happy Party Till You Die Day!