Saturday, February 11, 2006

Stephanie Chamomile Day!

Stephanie Chamomile runs the Chamomile Day Care center, the most reputable child care organization in Cedar Cove. What no one knows, and what you are going to discover this morning, is that her day care center is actually a coven and she's been teaching witchcraft to all of the children in town.

You'll realize what's been happening when you go looking for "Hogarth," your cat. You'll realize this morning that Hogarth's been missing for two days. You'll knock on your son's door to seek his help.

When you push open the door to his room, your son will be on the floor by the closet, drawing blood into the hypodermic needle sticking out of the ball of Hogarth's hind right paw. Hogarth will be completely and utterly calm. Not sleepy, not restrained. But as calm as if he'd been hypnotized.

"What are you�" you won't be able to get the question out.

"He's okay," your son will tell you in the same voice he uses to talk about what his favorite action figure can do. "I kept him in here and I rubbed a fungus on his teeth to keep him happy. I need his blood, but I had to purify it so he could only eat roots for two days."

Your son will pull the needle from Hogarth's paw and say, "You can go now Hogarth." Hogarth will pull himself up and pad past your legs down the hall. Your son will squirt the blood from the needle into a mixing bowl full of greenish brown powder.

You'll ask, "What's the game kiddo?"

Your son will say, "I'm doing my homework. Miss Chamomile taught us how to make a fertility potion. We're going to sell them at next week's Craft and Bake Sale at the church."

"Miss Chamomile doesn't go to church," you'll say. It's the only reason some people in town still send their kids to Playcare across the creek. They don't trust a non-churchgoer.

"Miss Chamomile says church doesn't have to be about Christ. That it's the community it brings about that's important."

Your son will pound at the blood soaked powder with his pestle. A gray smoke will begin to rise from the mixture.

"Excuse me kiddo," you'll say. You'll go to the phone and start dialing your phone tree to spread the word. Everyone will agree to meet at Stephanie Chamomile's house in an hour to tie her to a post and set her on fire.

Before you can get into your coat, your son will appear before you and he'll splash a liquid into your face. You'll feel a searing pain in your eyes. You'll try to dig your fingers into your sockets to claw your eyes out, but they'll already be gone, replaced by two shallow craters covered in smooth, unblemished skin. The same thing will happen in all of your neighbors' houses, and this is how your town will come to be known as, "Blind Man's Cove."

Happy Stephanie Chamomile Day!