On Loan From The Museum Of Incredible Asses Day!
It's just a really fucking old chair. This is why all museums suck dick. They name an exhibit "Knights In Shining Armour!" so you show up and you get like two suits of empty chainmail and then about five rooms full of wooden bowls "from which jousters would take their porridge!" Total bullshit. Where are the human heads that have fossilized upon the tips of spears?
Then you saw a banner through your bus window that read "On Loan From The Museum Of Incredible Asses - Through October 12th" so you decided to give museums one more shot. And here you are staring at the indentation in the plush velvet cushion of a bejeweled dining chair that purportedly supported Queen Elizabeth I during her morning Froot Loops. "Yes," you think. "I'm sure the Virgin Queen had an ass that was out of this world. But I didn't pay a 25 cent donation today just to look at a seat cushion that had to endure the Earl Of Leicester dropping to his knees and digging his nose into the fucking upholstery every time the help stepped away to apply a balm to their eczematic scales." Break some glass.
Happy On Loan From The Museum Of Incredible Asses Day!