Sunday, September 22, 2013

Don’t Date Professors Day!

You’re a college guy who’s always been attracted to older women, so you want to date your Native American Studies professor.

“Can I take you to a movie?” you ask her.

“No,” your professor will say. “Go outside and wait by my car. I’ll take you to my house for sex.”

Your professor will be a knowledgeable lover with lots of experience to impart to you. When the sex is over you’ll ask her if it was good for her.

“I like your young body,” she’ll say. “If you want to keep having sex with me you have to kill the head of the Native American Studies department. I want his seat.”

You kill the head of the Native American Studies department, but the professor refuses to have sex with you again.

“You think I’d have sex with a murderer?” she asks you.

Just then the police burst in and charge you with murder. You spend decades in prison. When you get out you give talks to graduating high school students warning them not to have sex with their professors in college.

“They don’t keep their word,” you’ll tell the kids. If you can keep just one from going to jail for a murder they committed in exchange for a reneged promise of more sex, it will have all been worth it.

Happy Don’t Date Professors Day!