Thursday, September 12, 2013

Classroom Fistfight Day!

Some boys are having a classroom fistfight and you can’t decide which one you’re falling for. The boy who’s winning is really strong, but the boy who’s losing is really smart. If you go for the strong boy, he might marry you and protect you from physical harm should society crumble due to environmental changes or economic collapse. If you go for the smart boy he might be able to get a good job and earn enough money to put you in the higher echelon of people who might be granted entrance into an underground bunker where important scientists and thinkers are kept safe for future generations. If you go for the strong boy he might look back on his years in high school playing sports as the best years of his life, which means he’ll be bitter and you won’t have a happy home. If you go for the smart boy he might value the intellect more than emotion which means your marriage will be passionless. If you—Oops, the strong boy fell and cracked his head open on the corner of the desk and he’s dead. The smart boy is running, trying to get off-campus before the cops come. Looks like you’re date-less again, loser.

Happy Classroom Fistfight Day!