Saturday, August 31, 2013

Magic Show Day!

Volunteer to be made to disappear at the magic show and when the magician taps twice on the box you’ll be sent to another dimension where you’ll see your dead grandmother.

“Grandma!” you’ll shout.

“Play these lotto numbers!” your grandma will shout. “Play them tonight!” Then she’ll rattle off the lotto numbers, making sure you remember.

When the magician brings you back, you’ll run to the delicatessen and play the numbers your grandma gave you. The jackpot will be $15 million. You can’t believe how lucky you were to volunteer for that magic show so that your dead grandma would tell you the winning lotto numbers.

When the numbers are drawn, every single one you played will be wrong.

Go back to the magic show the next day and volunteer again. When you see your grandma, ask her what the hell.

“I thought you knew the winning numbers,” say to her.

“I just miss playing lotto,” she’ll tell you. “Play these now.”

Your grandma will rattle off another bunch of lotto numbers. You’ll play them, out of respect for her memory, and they’ll all lose too.

The next day you go back to the magic show with your whole family. The magician makes all of you disappear.

“What is this shit?” your dead grandma will say when she sees everybody.

“An intervention,” tell her. “We love you grandma, but you have a gambling problem.”

Spend the next few hours trying to convince your dead grandma to get help.

Happy Magic Show Day!