Thursday, August 08, 2013

Ask Your Mom Why Love Hurts Day!

“It used to feel so good,” tell her. “Now it hurts so bad. Why is that?”

“I wouldn’t know,” your mom will say. “Never been in love.”

“Hey!” your Dad will say. He’ll get up from the dining room table and go out on the lawn to sulk. The divorced lady who lives across the street will see him out there and she’ll run over and they’ll have an affair right there on the grass while the bug zapper sings its murderous song of summer.

“Oh my God,” your mom will say while watching your dad make love to the divorced lady on the grass. “I guess I have been in love, because I really, really hurt right now.”

Ask your mom if she’ll answer your goddamn question then, or is she too busy thinking about herself. She’ll just stare out the window and weep.

“I’m not enjoying this you know!” your dad, still inside the divorced lady, will shout.

Happy Ask Your Mom Why Love Hurts Day!